Friday, September 23, 2011

Reflecting.

Do you ever see that mom at the grocery store? The one with her thick, flawless curls bouncing as she pushes her adorable, happy, toddler in a top of the line stroller, with her perfectly french manicured nails? Or the one who you see at the park, in her gleaming white Nike's, unpacking a nutritious lunch of fresh veggies, homemade hummus, organic juice and freshly baked zucchini muffins for a picnic on her freshly laundered red and white checkered picnic blanket, while you wipe a dirty picnic table with a baby wipe, and unpack your PB&J sandwiches and goldfish crackers while your kid is screaming at your leg? And in that moment you look at her enviously, and think "how the hell does she do it?". I know you've been there. But, truth is, so has she. Chances are, that mom -- that mom,who seems to have it all together without missing a beat, is falling apart elsewhere. She may have found the time to style her golden locks and to treat herself to a manicure, but she probably sacrificed something else - laundry, dishes, time with her husband, work, the possibilities are endless. And tomorrow, or the next day, or the next week, she'll probably have to catch up on some of those things, and she'll spend the day in her yoga pants, hoping no one pops in for one of those annoying surprise visits, because let's face it - her house is a disaster, there's no clean cups to offer guests a drink, and she hasn't had time to brush her teeth yet! (Sounds familiar, right?)

So, always remember, you can have it all -- you just may not have it all at once. Choose your priorities with each day, and don't feel guilty about neglecting other areas of your life. If you spend the day playing dress-up with your babies, and at 5:00 realize the house is in shambles and you forgot to take something out for dinner, don't sweat it! Order a pizza and clean it up another day.  Or, if you need to spend an afternoon catching up on some work, don't feel guilty about recruiting Dora and The Backyardigans to babysit the wee ones for a while. They won't remember that day anyways...they'll remember the day you played dress-up all day!

****
I have been having one of those weeks. One of those weeks where I am completely overwhelmed with my kids, and feel like a failure of a mom because they're unhappy, and we've been butting heads for days, and I should know how to deal with it. One of those weeks where no matter how hard I try to keep a tidy house, the little ones manage to destroy it all before I can blink, and when my husband comes home I feel like a failure because it literally looks like I did nothing all day. One of those weeks where I just want to crawl into bed, and wake up next spring.
But...I got through it. It's Friday, the weekend is here, and I am finally feeling in better spirits. Cheyna is gone to a youth retreat with a wonderful new friend she made at school (A boy!), and I am happy to see her happy. Trevor and I snuck out with the little ones for some yummy seafood tonight, and it was perfect - no fighting, no temper tantrums, no meltdowns, just fun. We then came home to a relaxed evening of bubble baths, bedtime stories, and snuggles with the littles. Now they're all tucked in bed (Daddy included!) and I am forgiving myself for losing my temper this week, for not keeping the house clean, and for not being super mom.. No one ever said motherhood was easy. Some days are challenging, some days are frustrating, and some days are just downright disastrous. But, we make it through, and we move on, looking ahead, and knowing that these years are short - too short. Enjoy every second that you can, because in the grand scheme of things, the bad days won't matter...the happy memories will be the ones that last.



Happy Friday, friends.
xo.

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